


Shadow Hawks

by Rusalye



Category: Chronicles of Elantra - Michelle Sagara
Genre: Amnesia, Barrani being assholes, Belussdeo being awesome, Body Horror, Courtship, Denial of Feelings, Dragons, Epic Friendship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Issues, Forced Bonding, Half-Barrani, Half-Human, Half-Immortals, Hidden Feelings, Hidden Talents, Immortal relationships are weird, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Major Character Injury, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Nightshade is a student, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Out of Body Experiences, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sentient Buildings, Sexual Tension, Shifters, Sibling Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, Telekinesis, Telepathy, double personality, half-dragons, kaylin matures, set after CiWisdom, who the hell taught you courtship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rusalye/pseuds/Rusalye
Summary: Kaylin Neya loves her job, her friends and her home. After the events in the border zone things seem to settle in the routine of patrolling, midwife duty and magic lessons. But horrid nightmares about blood, shadow and a dark behemoth known as The Sun Eater fill her with terror. Her daily life if disturbed by obscure hallucinations. She keeps her mouth and mind shut and prays they will disappear. And to make matters worse, the Emperor has a special "request" for her. One that she is not allowed to divulge to any of her friends or allies. She is alone in this. Utterly alone. Or she thinks so...Lord Nightshade is having none of her secrecy.
Relationships: An'Teela/Tain (Elantra), Annarion/OC, Evarrim/OC, Kaylin Neya/Nightshade, Lirienne/Orbaranne, Lord of the Green/The Consort, Tiamaris/Tara, Ynpharion/Farlonne
Comments: 11
Kudos: 13





	1. Twilight

A chill wind snaked its way through the fir forest, whispering of rain and eyes watching in the darkness of near night. Kaylin's hands paused against the moist soil between an amethyst nightshade flower and the stems of azure forget-me-nots.

 _“You are not supposed to be here!”_ whispered a windy voice in her head.

A shiver ran down her spine. She lost her way hours ago, on her journey to the North and now she didn’t know which direction was the right one, but she knew that she will be dead if the sun will be setting with her stuck in this place. Her body was naked and covered in violet and yellow bruises settled among her marks. Something was strange tough… When she set on this journey Kaylin was perfectly sure that she was fully clothed and that she used the right mountain paths, yet she was bruised and naked and…taller.Her usually shoulder length brown hair was now a long drape of smooth raven black, barrani black, that covered her back. This was not right…

 _“You are not supposed to be here!”_ hissed that ethereal voice again. _“Run daughter of water and sun! Run Chosen!”_

In that very moment the sun had set and a primordial cold engulfed the forest, freezing the air and coating the firs and flowers in laced ice. She wasn’t trembling. Her body wasn’t bothered by the cold in any way, but an irrational fear, a gut feeling of wrongness settled in. Between the secular trees something was watching her. Something ancient. Something hungry that hated light. That hated her. Kaylin was frozen on the spot, like a deer in the face of the wolf, her heart threatening to break her rib cage. It was here. It was here. _He_ was here! And in that moment she knew he will eat her alive while she was still screaming and thrashing in pain and terror. Not even this strange body will protect her in the face of this thing, this monster. Two moon white eyes watched her.

She couldn’t see any shape behind those eyes, just utter darkness. And then she felt it. His voice.

“ _I found you. I finally found you little one. I searched for you my dear, for eons, but now I will starve no more!”_

His words slithered trough her brain making her eyes burn. Kaylin felt him searching, probing, she realized with horror, for her _name._ The enormity of it, the primal fear, made her snap out of her stupor and scream in denial. What she said was the heart rejection, the ancient tongue.

She woke up covered in sweat, heart pounding in her chest.

_“A dream. It was just a damn dream”_ she thought. She covered her eyes with her damp palms. On the inside of her head she was desperately uttering her name, again and again, making sure it was still hers.

_“Ellariayn. Elleriayn. Elleriayn. Elleriayn.”_ Her being pulsed with each utter. But for some reason she still hid under the covers and waited for her heart to quieten before she reached toward one of her name-bound.

_“Callarnene”_

 _“Kaylin…You are agitated.”_ She sensed his worry.

_“I had a nightmare. My mind enjoys scaring the life out of me.”_

_“I see. What do you want to ask me?”_ he inquired softly _._

 _“Tell me about one of your travelings.”_ Anything to distract her from her thoughts was good enough. Nightshade remained silent for a moment, taken aback by her sudden need for his presence.

 _“Please.”_ She whispered.

In the softest of tones he began to tell her of times long forgotten . She closed her eyes and let his voice carry her in another century, another world, burying the remnants of her dream and fright.


	2. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kaylin suffers Teela's questions.

It was barely morning and the day did not look promising at all. She barely slept that night, trying to avoid another nightmare. A nightmare that kept repeating, with her trapped in a fir forest, wearing a Barrani body and being watched by a monster. Things only got worse that week. In the day she tried to work as much as she could to exhaust herself, and at night she talked to Helen or Nightshade. And once with Lirriene, but that happened when she had fallen asleep at the Halls of Law, where Helen could not shield her thoughts or dreams, trying to fill a report after a sleepless night. She kind of scared him, and then she had to explain to him the matter of nightmares, and that no, she was not actually in danger, her mind was at fault.  
This morning, in particular, Kaylin wanted to take a leave of absence and mirrored Caitlin to do just that. She couldn't continue to go patroling like this. Underslept, scared, and sick to the stomach, she was the definition of a damn mess.

" Are you sure you will be fine? " asked the office den mother, "Should I call Moran?" Kaylin grimaced. The last thing she wanted in her house was a snappy Seargeant telling her she needed sleep.

"No Caitlin, I'll just need a few days of rest, and Moran has other things to deal with. " Other things like the Aerian Caste court.

" Very well. I'll notify Marcus about it. See you in a week, Kaylin. " The mirror became reflexive again and the tired hawk exhaled loudly. A stab of pain behind her eyes made her grunt and drag herself out of the mirror room. If only she could sleep... but that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Later that afternoon, Kaylin found Teela lounged in a wooden chair, in the kitchen of all places, talking quietly to Helen. The Barrani woman's complexion was sickly pale and her eyes a midnight blue bordering on black. She almost took a step back. Almost.

"Kittling," Teela's voice was quiet and as cold as a frozen sea, "someone came today at the office looking for you." She turned toward Kaylin, arms crossed tightly at her chest. "We made sure they understood you are not available. And I told Helen that you might be expecting visitors today." This was exactly what she needed at the moment. Guests. When her head was going to explode and her eyes were barely open.

" Barrani High Court? The Imperial Court?" inquired Kaylin. Teela's lips tightened.

" Dear, let's talk in a more comfortable place," urged Helen, " Kaylin is unwell, and you are distraught." Teela rose stiffly and followed Hellen out of the kitchen with Kaylin wobbling after them and cursing under her breath in harsh Leontine.

Helen brought them into the parlour, then made herself unseen. The Barrani hawk threw herself on the couch and lounged like a tired, fussy, cat while the exhausted and annoyed human hawk sat beside her in what little space remained.

" So, are you going to tell me what in the hells happened at the office or you will keep me on edge? questioned Kaylin with a dubious look. Teela puffed and made some more space for her. Her eyes were an azure blue.

" You gave us quite the shock when you decided to take a leave of absence." mussed Teela changing the subject." Even when you were barely functional from drinking with me and Tain or from spending the night with the midwives, you still dragged your butt to work. Don't make that face. What is happening with you kittling? Why can't you sleep?" She took a lock of her dishevelled hair and curled it around her finger.

" I told you I have some gods damned nightmares," muttered Kaylin " and if I can't sleep isn't it obvious that I'm useless at work? What happened at the office?"

" It can't be just that. " Now she wanted to scream.

" Teela! Office. Please."

" If it were just that, whatever sleeping mixture Evanon gave you should have been effective. Yes, I know about it." She explained tugging slightly on her lock." He is worried, kittling." She was going to strangle that old lizard. Keeper or no keeper.  
Her familiar, who was spending most of his time imitating a gauzy shawl, decided to make his point by biting her ear. Hard. She cursed him in three languages. Teela arched a perfect brow.

" What is happening with you, besides these nightmares? " Kaylin tried counting to five before answering.

"If I answer your questions will you please tell me who the hell is looking for me?" At this, her Barrani friend seemed to back down.

" Forgive me," She muttered, caressing her messy hair. Well, she didn't expect this. Kaylin pitched herself to make sure she wasn't hallucinating or worse. " I don't want to upset you more, but it is important, kittling. Since you were a child, you were resilient. And you always had nightmares... this is different." her hand cupped her chin. Teela gazed into her eyes searching for something. For what Kaylin didn't know.

"I saw you at work this week. You were not just tired, you were terrified, terrified enough to hide in the closet room trembling or start hyperventilating in the middle of a normal patroling, for no reason. You can't lie to me about this." Now Kaylin was almost speechless. She had been careful...or so she thought. But the fear was palpable, her heart was speeding up.

" Teela... this is the very reason why I choose to stay at home." she swallowed hard. " I think I'm losing my mind. I started to see things from my dreams wherever I go." Now she was breathing hard, tears were coming. She didn't want to cry, not in front of Teela. Her friend let go of her chin and dragged Kaylin in her arms.

"What do you see?" Teela whispered in her hair.

" If I patrol Elani fir trees sprout from the pavement," she rasped, "If I go to the Halls of Law I see people without faces or with animal faces, if I attend a birth from the mother's womb is not a baby that came out but a black small dragon." At this point, she was sobbing, barely able to speak properly. " If I go near the High Halls I don't see Barrani I see... I don't even know what I see. And across the Ablayne in Nightshade is darkness and forest and vines..."

Kaylin was crying and she hated herself so much for it, but she couldn't stop. Teela held her the way she had when she was thirteen, small and frightened when her nightmares were too harsh. She wasn't that child anymore, but she was enfolded in her friend's arms anyway.

When she had finally stopped weeping, Teela murmured " I asked you all of this because you are in no shape to have visitors. Not visitors of this kind anyways." Kaylin wiped her eyes with her sleeves and mumbled: " Who are they?"

Teela's answer had a sheer finality to it.

" Well, Shadow Hawks."


	3. Loathing and mirage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaylin is lost in her dreams and Nightshade has unexpected visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been some time, but here is the third chapter. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

To say that the fieflord of Nightshade was in a foul mood would have been a grave understatement. In the vast throne room, the silence was the new monarch, engulfing every alcove in the stillness of a tomb. Lord Callarnene's eyes were a shy hue away from black, his posture rigid in the ethereal ornate throne. His long fingers were drumming softly against the armrest, the motions almost hypnotic. Andellen did not dare to meet his Lord's abyssal gaze.

"Explain yourself, Lord Andellen." The coldness of his tone could only be compared with the bottom of a frozen ocean and Andellen was certain that a poor choice of words at a time like this would be fatal, to him and the ten guards flanking him. All of them were kneeling both in obeisance and unease, there have been centuries since they have seen their lord in such a state of profound anger. He needed to proceed with caution or else...

"As I have said earlier my Lord, Ivasaar An'Dehallan asked for a private audience with you, two hours after midnight. He is still waiting in the parlour with six guards and a member of the Arcanum. He mentioned that the matter is of great import. There is the prospect of-" he was interrupted by Nightshade's raised hand, the numerous spectral rings that adorned it shone in electric blues and deep-sea greens. The throne room seemed to darken which, Andellen realised, was no illusion.

"His exact words, Andellen." His lord warned. The Barrani man quietly drew a breath and resumed.

"Tell your liege, that I have an offer for him. The incident from the North has started to draw the High Lord's attention, it is only a matter of time before the Eternal Emperor will get wind of it. Tell him that I found a solution to the dilemma he confessed to me at the dawn of the Towers. This is going to be of interest to him."

The fieflord remained silent and still while the light in the room was dimming gradually. His rings shone brighter and it took a great effort for Andellen to not flinch when small, contained lighting bolts in unnatural hues of deep blues and greens, danced around his hands. The air in the room seemed to condense and he could almost smell the tempest that lurked in the dark-robed man he served.

"So, he decided to crawl back for help," Nightshade smirked, his eyes blazing like two obsidian suns, "Let's see his offer, shall we?"

The armrest cracked under his hand.

Kaylin dreamed. She was travelling North again, on a forest path covered in a thick layer of ice and fir needles. The frost bit into her bare, bruised feet which made her realise that she was once again stark naked and stuck in a Barrani body. The sharp immortal eyes helped her see by the light of the stars and the green-blue northern lights, the moons were strangely absent from her dream world. She couldn't even discern their black outlines in the sky. The stars themselves weren't known to her. Her breath misting the air and her feet roaming across the ice were the only sounds in the complete, eerie silence of the shadowy woods.

After what felt like an eternity she stopped, realising that the path forked in three directions, all of them leading to snow-covered firs and darkness. She must go North, but all of the paths seemed to go that way. The stars weren't helpful. She looked at her marks, they remained unresponsive. She must choose, otherwise... She groaned internally and tried to remain silent, even she wasn't that dumb to try drawing attention in a place like this, although Marcus would have something to say. Her stomach twisted in dread at the thought that one of these ways or all of them will lead her to the fiend that plagued her mind. She looked behind and there was no road, obviously because there was too much to ask dreams to make sense. She sighed quietly, picked the footpath to her right and prayed to reach a destination that didn't include an ancient monster.

The moment her foot touched the first chunk of the pathway, the heart of the Winter melted in rivulets of white and greys, in its place remaining a clearing at the height of summer packed with violet nightshades. Only the northern lights remained unchanged, offering the same dim light. Kaylin gazed around and her eyes settled on the dark shape of a Brrani man in the middle of the poisonous flowers. 

Even with the considerable distance between them and the inky shadows splattered around, she would have recognized him anywhere.

Lord Nightshade stood motionless amid the deadly blooms like one of the many statues adorning the High Halls, with his back toward her. The fall of his hair seemed to merge with the darkness turning him into another mirage. But he was corporeal in a landscape of watery illusions. As Kaylin approached him slowly, the air separating them trembled and shimmered in vibrant gold and red like an afterimage. The flowers that brushed her hips and waist could have been made of smoke, they felt insubstantial, as the air seemed to thicken and turn into water. Kaylin was not prepared when the sudden rush of raw fury and hatred that emanated from Nightshade almost knocked her down. Through the connection of his true name, the intensity of his emotions slapped her mind hard enough to feel pain. 

Glimpses of a Barrani man dressed in court regalia and surrounded by grim guards darted behind her eyes, through her brain, forming a solid image. She didn't know him. But something about him almost reminded her of some ambiguity that wouldn't surface from her memories. His lips, curved in a pleasant if smug smile, formed words that she heard faintly as if her head was underwater. He was, she realised, talking to Nightshade. 

_"You are very considerate Lord Callarnene. I wouldn't have thought you will want to hear my offer."_ The stranger, whose eyes were a blue that could be mistaken for green, sat almost casually in an elaborate chair, in what looked like a pretentious salon from Castle Nightshade. Nightshade simmering rage overwhelmed her. He was tempted to draw _Mellianos_ out of its sheath and decapitate him on the spot. 

"Forgive me, Lord Ivasaar, my manners today are somehow lacking," His voice, the embodiment of animosity, was clear and close, as though he was speaking in her ear. " I was just very curious, what would the mighty An'Dehallan want from an Outcaste. I thought you have more than enough allies."

Lord Ivasaar of all things laughed. Kaylin was already convinced that he was suicidal. Not even his guards could save him if Nightshade decided he would look better dead, the Castle would eat them alive. 

_"This is the problem with you Callarnene, you prefer to dwell on the past and overlook all the possibilities that lay ahead,"_ His eyes a luminous green now, looked at Nightshade the way someone looks at an unfledged child. _" You surely remember that the waking of the Towers was a crucial event. Two centuries after that, you asked me about quite an interesting thing. You asked if there is a middle state between mortal and immortal. Then I dismissed it as one of your many follies, but now I may have a definitive answer. And a definitive solution to your dilemma. If you would care to hear what I have to say, of course."_ His smile was one of utter satisfaction.


	4. Treachery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the long wait, but here is chapter 4. I'm finally finished with finals and I will try to post weekly.

To be able to empathize with Nightshade’s emotions was not a blessing. The amount of raw fury and killing intent was seething and overwhelming. He wanted to eviscerate the bastard and put an end to his whole lineage trough war and the cold kiss of Mellianos. To bring the House of Dehallan to ruin and humiliation, to wipe out their name from history and let the ancient forests conquer their domains. Images of extreme violence and horror darted trough Kaylin’s mind. All of them consisted of different Barrani people with dull eyes and blood leaking through their silted throats, stabbed chests and pale lips. Chief of them all being the man called Ivasaar An’Dehallan, the man who sat leisurely in front Nightshade, being killed slowly and grotesquely. Kaylin stumbled away from the spectre of Nightshade with a yelp, but the wrathful fantasies of the fieflord continued to unwind before her. Her blood froze, her heart and stomach were in tight knots, she could hardly breathe. She wanted to scream in his bloody ear to stop. But she couldn’t. She wanted to run. She couldn’t. Her feet were not budging. She needed to see something else. Anything else.

Nightshade’s voice resounded in her brain clear as a crystal blade. “Say what you have to say. I value my time.”

“Such impatience. Very well, let me explain then. You have certainly heard about the events that took place in the North, at the ruins of the old Darrave dynasty, haven’t you?” his words flowed like honey and his eyes sparkled. When Callarnene failed to respond, he seemed almost disappointed. He was daft, concluded Kaylin.

“ I will take this as a no. A pity. A few months ago the barrier surrounding Darrave’s lands shattered on the west side. It took some time for that information to reach us, and by the time we arrived in the wildness of the north the territory had already been conquered.” His smile was rueful.

Through Nightshade’s rage, she could see glimpses of an impressive city, of lush gardens and of a great dome that adorned them. Under the dome, Barrani lords walked. No. Not Barrani, although they looked somehow similar. Some had cooper, chestnut or golden hair, colours that the Barrani race didn’t have. Before Kaylin could focus properly on those fragments of thought they were quickly hidden from her.

“Conquered?” deadpanned the fieflord,” It wasn’t ours, to begin with, Lord Ivassar.” The Barrani lord in question seemed to not care that he was being disrespected, but he was rather affronted by Nightshade’s affirmation.

“ How can you imply something like that, when the city had been under our authority for so many centuries?”

“ To try and wrestle the control from them is different from holding actual power over their domain.” he was studying his rings to avoid looking at the imbecile in front of him. Just how he managed to remain the head of his line for so long was still a mystery to Nightshade. “The real question is what happened to Lord Ennerias, he would never be this careless.” For the first time since this conversation started, An’Dehallan’s eyes darkened to midnight. The petty pleasure Calarnenne took from this small reaction was headier than the finest wine. Kaylin wanted to shake him, but she was also curious so she remained silent.

“Ennerias betrayed us.” The silence that followed was akin to the eye of a hurricane, there was thunder in the distance.

“In what way has he betrayed us?”

Ivassar took a glass of blueish wine from the small table between them and watched Clarnnene over the rim. “He was the one who broke the dome.” He took a long sip of wine. “And this is the reason why they took the city from us. But fortunately, they made a great mistake in doing this.” His smile could only be described as wolfish, “they hadn’t checked if all the mirrors and the wraith butterflies were inactive.”

Kaylin almost shivered, all the previous sweetness and playfulness dissolved like fog, in their place remaining menace.

“And what has all of this anything to do with what I asked you so long ago?” The edge of anger was laced with curiosity and suspicion. Ivassar raised a perfect brow, his eyes the blue of annoyance, but he chooses to humour Nightshade.

“We were able to see who our real enemy was. The so-called Darrave House is only partly Barrani. Half of their blood is human. We know now who owned the North for thousands of years before we made it our laboratory, and who were the ones behind the rise of the Eternal Emperor.”

Kaylin still lay unconscious. Teela could not wake her no matter how hard she shook the small woman. She was tangled in the sheets of her bed, her hair in disarray, her skin pale, clammy and feverish. Behind her, Mandoran and Terrano watched with horror as Kaylin marks, including the one of her cheek turned an incandescent blue. Teela removed her hands with a yelp. They were raw and blistered. 

_“We have problems!”_ Sedarias voice stabbed like ice behind Teela’s eyes _._ All three of them could see Helen standing still in front of the entrance, her eyes obsidian. In front of the avatar were three people, two men and a woman. All wore black clothing and a silver hawk on their tabard.

“Greetings.” Said the woman inclining her head, her copper curls bouncing with the movement. When she raised her head and meet Sedarias’ gaze silver eyes pierced trough Teela’s brain. Her very Barrani lips smiled pleasantly. “We are looking for Kaylin Neya.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work of fanfiction and English is my second language. So... apologizes for any mistakes. I love Chronicles of Elantra and I want to satisfy my need for certain interaction between my favorite characters. Enjoy!


End file.
